


Starting Now (We're Gonna Soar)

by Miaou Jones (miaoujones)



Series: It's Anyone's Guess (What the Future Will Hold) [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Conversations, First Kiss, Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:24:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miaoujones/pseuds/Miaou%20Jones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Isn't there anything you want just for yourself?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting Now (We're Gonna Soar)

**Author's Note:**

> What do you mean this didn't happen? (A "missing scene" from S02E11.)   
>  Title taken from lyrics to "Future Fish."

When they get off the train in Iwatobi, the first thing Rin does is check his phone: sure enough, there's a missed message from Makoto. 

"Tachibana?" Sousuke says. Rin nods, still looking at his phone. "Good news?"

"I don't know yet." He doesn't have a good feeling, though; Makoto usually likes to call instead of texting and that's what he'd said on the phone last night—"I'll call you after I talk to him"—but this is a text message: _where r u right now?_

_Just got to Iwatobi. Walking home._

He keeps the phone in his hand and, moments later, it vibrates with Makoto's next message: _can i meet u there?_

_Yeah._

_ok thanks_

Even though he's pretty sure that will be the last message, Rin keeps his phone out as they walk. He feels Sousuke looking at him but doesn't return the gaze until Sousuke says, "Do you know what you're going to do?"

"No." Rin gives him a smile he's not feeling. "I have an idea, a couple of ideas but..."

"About Nanase or about Tachibana?"

"Shut up." Feeling some of the smile this time, Rin catches himself just before he bumps Sousuke's shoulder with his own. The smile fades. "Hey, give me this," he says, tugging the dangling shoulder strap of the bag Sousuke is carrying in his left hand.

Sousuke's brow arches. "You think I can't carry my own bag?"

"That's exactly what I think. Give it." Rin stops and holds out his hand, offering a trade: "You can be in charge of the phone."

"I don't care about that," Sousuke says but at least he comes to a stop, too.

"Just like you don't care about your shoulder?" Rin regrets the words immediately; he regretted them in the middle of the sentence but he couldn't stop himself. "Sorry, Sousuke."

It's quiet for a moment as Sousuke turns his gaze up and off. His expression is calm. 

So is his voice, when he finally speaks in the next moment: "I care about my shoulder. There are just things I care about more." He looks down from the sky and smiles at Rin. Then, the curve of his mouth shifting to slant up more on one side than the other, he says, "You're not going to cry again, are you?"

Rin doesn't know what he's going to do but he can't say that. "No," he says, willing it to be true. He looks away just in case—and feels the phone lifted from his hand; in the next moment, the weight of Sousuke's bag drags the same hand down before he counteracts the effects of gravity.

They go on wordlessly until Rin says, "I didn't mean it."

"Yeah." Their eyes meet when Sousuke looks over. "I didn't either."

Now it's Rin's turn to arch a dubious brow. "You care about Haru's future?"

"That's—" Sousuke looks off again. Something about his exhale makes Rin think he's just missed something but before he can ask, Sousuke says, "Anyhow, _you_ care about it, and that's what I care about." Their eyes meet again when Sousuke glances over before facing forward. "That's what a best friend is for, after all. Someone to have your back."

"Yeah." Rin can't help thinking he didn't have Sousuke's back at all, though, or at least not his shoulder...

"Rin."

Sousuke must have been thinking the same thing because he sounds serious. When Rin looks over, though, he reaches out and sticks his pinky—which has obviously just been licked—into Rin's ear.

"What the—" The bag Rin has been carrying for him hits the ground as he stops mid-stride to bat Sousuke away and rub at his ear. "Gross, Sousuke! What are you, nine years old?"

Eyes closed and face tipped up, Sousuke laughs and laughs, and it's so honest that Rin gives in to his own grin helplessly.

 

There's been no word from Makoto by the time Sousuke and Rin get to the place where they need to take different streets. Rin thinks about carrying Sousuke's bag to his house for him but, even though the lack of a message must mean Makoto isn't at his house yet, he'll probably be there soon and Rin doesn't want to keep him waiting. So he hands over the bag and, as his fingers close around his phone, promises to text Sousuke from Australia. 

Makoto still hasn't called or texted by the time Rin gets home. He doesn't really feel like going inside just yet so he sets his bags to the side and sits on the steps.

It's only a few minutes until Makoto rounds the curve of the street. Getting to his feet, Rin raises a hand in greeting and Makoto waves back. "Sorry," Makoto says as he comes up to Rin; he must have been running because there's an unevenness to his breathing. "I didn't mean to make you wait."

"You didn't." When Makoto doesn't say anything, Rin says, "You talked to Haru?" Makoto nods. Rin glances behind him at his house, the light coming out through the window. This is not a conversation he wants interrupted so, even though Makoto has only just caught his breath, Rin says, "Do you want to walk around a little?"

"Okay."

They walk aimlessly for a while without talking. It seems neither one of them knows how to have this conversation. But they have to—it's the reason they're both here right now, after all. Rin looks over at Makoto: his face tells Rin a lot but nothing specific so, even though he feels the words dragging through his mouth, he pushes them out: "How did it go?"

Makoto shakes his head. "I've never seen him like this, Rin." Though his voice is soft, the words cut into Rin. Their footsteps slow, stop. "I think—" Makoto raises his hand to his head, presses the heel of his palm to his brow. "I think I might have done more harm than good. I just." As his hand drops back to his side, his voice softens even more so it's like he's talking to himself. Rin listens anyhow. "I couldn't let him go on like that. I couldn't let him think I was blind to his pain, or that I saw it but didn't care..."

Rin finds himself nodding as Makoto's words sink into him, deeper than words have a right to go. "You did the right thing." 

Makoto looks at him, then away before their gazes can latch onto one another. "I don't know about that. He was already pretty far away from himself, but I think now I might have pushed him so far away, not just from me but from all of us who care about him, that he might not have a way back..."

Just as the silence is becoming unbearable, Makoto suddenly smiles and looks at him. "But that's what." He pauses to get his English in order and pronounces carefully: "『Plan B』 is for, right?" His smile flashes wider before shifting to a hopeful shade. "You're—are you still okay with taking him to Australia?"

"Yes." 

Rin is afraid Makoto is going to ask if he thinks it will work. The truth is, he has no idea what's going to happen but it's the only thing he can think of. He wants to offer more than that to Makoto, especially after what he's just said about Haru, but Rin can't lie about something like this...

He comes out of his thoughts when Makoto says his name. "This isn't the only reason I wanted to talk to you in person." Makoto takes a breath, squares his shoulders, and turns to face Rin fully. Rin finds himself holding his own breath at they look at each other now. "It's about me—I'll be going to Tokyo for university."

The breath Makoto draws for his next words gets knocked out of him as Rin flings his arms around Makoto. "That's great!" One of Makoto's arms—the one Rin hasn't pinned in his enthusiasm—comes around him in response. "That's just so great." He releases Makoto then and steps back out of the hug, grinning.

"So..." A shy smile sneaks onto Makoto's face. "You're happy about this?"

"Of course!" Rin grins more. "Who _wouldn't_ be happy for you about this?" And then, as Makoto's smile slips, his gaze slipping off too, Rin knows the answer: oh fucking fuck, just exactly how badly did things go between Makoto and Haru tonight? "Are _you_ happy about it?"

Makoto's gaze comes back to him, some of his smile returning too. "Yeah. It's a little scary to think about, but—it's exciting, too." 

"Yeah, it is." Rin wants to ask if Makoto was recruited for swimming but since Makoto hasn't said so himself, Rin thinks it's worth waiting to ask about that in favor of letting them both grin awhile longer. "I haven't spent a lot of time in Tokyo myself—but!" He grins even more as it hits him: "Sousuke went to high school there for two years, so you should definitely talk to him about it! Let's get together when I'm back from Australia—we'll all hang out after Nationals." It's not even a question to Rin and he doesn't inflect it like one.

Makoto answers anyhow, with his smile more than his words. "Okay, yeah."

They start walking again, circling back around to Rin's house now. Rin can't stop thinking about Makoto in Tokyo—he doesn't know who will have to look out more, Makoto or the city itself, because Rin feels like Makoto is going to take it by storm no matter what he's doing, even if he's not swimming... but god how Rin wants Tokyo to get an eyeful of Makoto's backstroke at the university level... but also, he's going to support Makoto in any case...

He can't seem to stop grinning and glances over, expecting to see Makoto's sweet smile—but the corners of his mouth are turned downwards, as is his gaze, and Rin realizes he's thinking about Haru. 

Something about it is so unfair.

Rin doesn't realize he's spoken aloud until Makoto turns to him. Although he didn't mean to have this conversation, Rin meets Makoto's curious gaze evenly. "You're always doing things like this, aren't you? Last year, you all worked together to take care of me. Earlier this year, you guys did it for Rei when he needed it and again for Nagisa." Suddenly inspired, he adds, "You even did it for me again—I know you were the one who reminded everyone about my cherry blossom pool dream. Don't try to deny it," he says when Makoto starts to open his mouth. "I asked Rei and he told me." 

With a sigh, Makoto closes his mouth again.

"And now we're all doing it for Haru. But, Makoto—who looks out for _you_ , when you need it?"

"Oh." Makoto's brow settles as he faces forward again. There's no break in his stride, no hitch in his breathing. "I do, Rin; I take care of myself."

He smiles again and it's a true smile, and it breaks Rin's heart a little. That kind of self-reliance is going to stand Makoto in good stead in Tokyo but—"Isn't there anyone." Tripped up in the sentence, Rin reorganizes quickly: "Don't you ever want anything just for yourself? Not going to Tokyo but, you know, something in the here and now, no matter how small?" 

They're back at his house already; Rin wishes he'd paid more attention, making the walk longer so the conversation would last longer...

"Oh," Makoto says again. "Well, yeah, there is something..." He looks up at the sky.

"And?" Rin is looking at him intently; in his peripheral vision, he sees the stars Makoto must be gazing at. "What are you going to do about it?"

Makoto looks at him. "You think I should go for it?"

"Yes!" Rin doesn't ask what it is because it doesn't matter; he just wants Makoto to want something for himself and get it.

Makoto scratches his cheek. His hand falls away from his face as, with a hint of a smile, he gazes up at the stars again. "Okay, then." And then, before Rin has even realized Makoto is looking down from the sky, he feels Makoto's hand on his shoulder and Makoto's mouth on his own.

The world tilts on its axis, keeps spinning.

They step apart and look at each other. Makoto is smiling. Rin touches his mouth, to check for his own smile, and only finds his lips parted to breathe. "We should really talk when I get back from Australia," he hears himself say.

Makoto's grin curves up more. "I'll be going now, then. Good luck with Haru in Australia! Send me updates, if you can. If not, yeah, we'll talk when you're back." And with another smile, he turns to go.

Rin reaches for him—too late: Makoto is already a step out of reach, not looking back.

With a sigh, Rin retrieves his bags and finally goes inside. He finds Kou in the living room, reading by the light he could see from outside. "Hey, listen—don't be mad at me, but I can't take you to Australia, after all."

He's expecting her to pout and demand an explanation, but her eyes brighten. She tries but fails to hide the beginning of a grin as she says, "Are you going with Makoto?"

His brow furrows. "Why would you—oh." He breaks off and rubs the back of his neck as he feels heat rise to his face. "You saw that, huh."

"Yes!" 

He hears her feet hit the floor as she jumps off the sofa, and then she's standing in front of him, her smile fully unleashed. "So," he says slowly, "you're okay with such a thing? Even if...even if I liked it?"

" _Especially_ if you liked it!" The smile fades but doesn't disappear as her brow arches. "So you _did_ like it?"

"I kissed him, didn't I?"

"Well, I couldn't tell. I mean, I know he kissed you—but I couldn't tell if you were kissing him back."

His face floods with heat again. "Oh." Maybe he didn't really kiss back; he thought he did, but maybe Makoto couldn't tell either... 

In his peripheral vision he sees Kou's thumb moving over the keypad of her phone. "Hey, what are you doing—listen, you can't tell anyone about this."

"Oh, but, can't I at least tell Chigusa?" The pleading puppy face she's giving him is definitely calculated and he tries to steel himself against it. "It would mean so much to her—we both just really want Makoto to be happy." 

Rin doesn't even know where to start with that sentence. After an eternity of several seconds, during which the puppy face transforms into the sweet baby sister face that makes him even more helpless than puppies and kittens, he finally settles on, "And how do you know this will make Makoto happy?"

Now his sweet baby sister looks at him like he's the dumbest kid on the planet. "It's obvious, isn't it? He's always thinking about you, doing things for you."

"Well, but, that's true for all his friends."

"What about the cherry blossom pool, then?" He's about to accuse her of having eavesdropped as well as spied, until he realizes she knows first hand that it was Makoto who had suggested they do it. "He wouldn't do such a thing for just anyone!"

Rin arches an eyebrow and challenges that with a simple, "Ha!"

"All right," she concedes, "he probably would. But that doesn't take anything away from the fact he did it for _you_. Besides," she waggles a brow, "who did he kiss just now?"

Rin can only blush. 

She grins triumphantly. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Well," he muses, then sighs as he comes to terms with the fact that it's impossible, "I can't take him to Australia..." Just as he adds, she says too: "This time."

Rin feels embarrassment wash over him again while his sister grins even more.

 

The next morning, before he climbs the steps to Haru's place, Rin goes up the ones to Makoto's. He's expecting Mr. or Mrs. Tachibana to come to the door but it's Makoto himself who opens it, still in his pajamas, bedhead hair framing his face. Rin has never seen him like this and finds it kind of madly adorable; he tries to hide it and, because Makoto seems so disoriented by him showing up, thinks he succeeds.

"Rin! Is it Haru? Is anything wrong?"

"No, I haven't gone to get him yet."

"Ah, okay." Makoto relaxes visibly, everywhere except the stray strands of hair still sticking out at their own odd and oddly endearing angles. "Well, if he doesn't answer, you can just go around back. Or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, I'll come over with you and we can both go in—"

"Makoto," Rin interrupts as he realizes what Makoto is thinking, "I didn't come over for that."

"Oh, then what—"

"Who did I kiss last night?"

Makoto's eyes widen. "You kissed Haru?"

"Tch." In anyone else, it would be disingenuous—but this is Makoto, this is really what he's thinking. Rin knows he's not a morning person and that's probably part of it but something tells him Makoto would be thinking like this anyhow. "You, dummy. You and I kissed."

"Oh." Makoto grins. The tip of his finger rubs his blushing cheek. "I mean, I know we did. I just wasn't sure..."

"If I liked it? If it meant anything to me?" Rin gazes at Makoto intently so as not to miss any flicker or nuance of expression. "I did, and it does. Okay?"

There's no flicker, only Makoto's sweet smile. "Okay."

"So then," Rin says, "can I kiss you now?"

Makoto covers his mouth but the smile is still visible in his eyes. "I have morning breath right now, though."

"I don't mind." It's Makoto that Rin likes, not the freshness of his breath. But, since it obviously bothers Makoto, Rin sighs and says, "Go brush your teeth, then; I'll wait."

"Okay." Makoto's smile comes back into full view as he drops his hand, turning to go.

"Hey, wait! Can I come in while I wait, at least?"

"Oh!" A new blush colors Makoto's face. Not that he wants Makoto to feel embarrassed around him all the time, but Rin could get used to seeing this sort of thing... "Of course, sorry—please come in."

Makoto brings Rin to the kitchen and reintroduces him to his mother before excusing himself to brush his teeth. "Oh, Rin—I'm so glad you came by," Mrs. Tachibana says. "I was going to send Makoto over to Haru's with these." She produces two bento boxes, one wrapped in the blue and white of Iwatobi, the other in Samezuka red and black. "For the plane ride," she explains. "I know you can get food on board, but it's such a long flight and I thought this would be nicer." She smiles and Rin can't help wondering if all the Tachibanas have such an infectious grin. 

They talk a little, not about anything much; she doesn't question him about Australia, though she obviously knows at least that he's going with Haru. It's not like Rin hadn't felt okay about doing this before but somehow he feels even better now.

When Makoto reappears, his clothing is wrinkled—it might be the same outfit he had on last night—but his hair has been tamed into a soft, easy fall around his face. "Oh, you got the bentos, good." 

"Yeah." Rin picks up one in each hand. "Thanks again, Mrs. Tachibana."

She waves him off. "My pleasure." Rin thinks it really might be.

"Mom, I'm just going to walk Rin to the bottom of the steps. I'll be right back."

Outside, Makoto helps Rin fit the bento boxes into his luggage. The walk down is wordless but not uncomfortable; Rin uses the time to once more go over what he's going to say at the bottom. 

When they get there, he puts down his bags and turns to Makoto. "This has been a long time coming, you know—too long. I've known how I feel about you for a while but I never did anything about it because there was always something else important to take care of." 

Maybe it's the same for Makoto because, if Kou is right, Makoto has known for a while too. Since Makoto doesn't say anything now, Rin keeps going. "But this is important, Makoto. You're so important to me." 

Maybe Rin didn't think about this enough because now he's stuck on _important_ —but it _is_ ; everything is. "There are other important things, but this is no less important than any of them." Makoto is just looking at him and Rin wonders if it's still too early in the morning for him. "Do you know what I'm saying?" He doesn't wait for an answer. "I'm saying you're as important to me as Haru's future. You're as important to me as my own. You're as important to me as swimming, Makoto."

Makoto laughs. 

"I'm serious."

"I know you are." Makoto is still grinning. "Only—do you think we can kiss now?"

"Oh, right." Blushing, Rin steps closer, cups Makoto's nape, tugs him down gently even as he tips himself up to dovetail his lips with Makoto's. He parts just enough to trace the seam of Makoto's lips with the tip of his tongue, which is what he thinks Makoto did last night that made Rin open and inhale for him; whether or not that's what happened last night, that's what happens now, in reverse, and Rin's tongue slips along Makoto's inhale to curl around Makoto's tongue in Makoto's mouth. As the kiss goes on, licking and breathing each other, touching each other outside the kiss—and that's part of the kissing too—all Rin can think is Makoto's name, _Makoto, oh~ Makoto, yes_...

When they part, he says, "But we're still going to have to talk when I get back from Australia with Haru."

Makoto nods. "In the meantime, though."

"Yeah." Rin answers Makoto's smile with one of his own, and kisses him again.


End file.
